family disagreements in adulthood

When you were younger, do you remember having a disagreement with your family, namely your parents or your siblings?  As you increased in age, there is a good chance that many of those arguments and disagreements disappeared, but, in adulthood, you may see them reappear.  If and when the time comes, do you know what to do?  Unfortunately, many people are unsure as to where they should stand or how to handle this important issue.

When it comes to adulthood problems with family members, many people automatically think of problems that they have with their spouces or their romantic partners. While these are complications and issues that need to be dealt with, it is important to realize that there is a difference between your partner and the family that you grew up with. That is why it is important that you handle those situations and issues differently.

One of the many problems that people have to deal with, concerning their family in adulthood, is that of sibling rivalries.  This is particularly common if you come from a family with three or more children.  If one of your siblings is having disagreements with another one, there is a good chance that you may be pulled into the middle.  If, at all costs, you are advised to try to stay out of it. There is nothing trickier than having to choose between one sibling and another, especially in adulthood.  Although you may not think about it at the time, this is when many families experience rifts that cannot be repaired.

Another situation that many people are placed in is between disagreements or, in worst case scenarios, divorces between their parents. When parents divorce, we often think of young children having to deal with the ramifications of divorce.  With that in mind, the problems can be just as bad, if not worse, when everyone is an adult.  In messy divorces, it is not uncommon for one parent to expect their adult children to support them and them alone. While you have complete control over your decisions, it is important, like with your sibling rivalries, that you stay as neutral as possible.  The last thing that you want to do is cause a rift between you and your parents, especially when you may not have all the time in the world to repair that rift.

Although it is nice to hear that you should avoid any family complications in adulthood, at all costs, you may be feeling pressured. If that is the case, it is important that you explain your feelings to your family members. After all, they spent their lives either raising you or growing up with you.  This means that they should understand where you are coming from.  Simply ask your brother, sister, mother, or father to put themselves in your shoes and image how you are feeling.  If that does not do the trick, it may be a good idea to seek assistance from a professional counselor.

As a reminder, you have the ability to handle any family issue that comes your way, any way that you see fit. With that in mind, it is important that you use your best judgment.  Unlike when you were a child or a teenager, you may not be able to get a quick fix. With no guarantees on how much time you, your parents, or your siblings have left, why take that chance?